The last few days have become days of re-evaluation for me. It started with the cleaning out of a few boxes in the garage a couple of weeks ago. Now, unbidden, this self evaluation extended itself into times of quiet sitting and listening, especially during and after last week's snow storm. Truly a time of grace.
I've been thinking about where I've been, where I've come from and analysing where I need to go from here. I suppose many people in mid-mid-life do this sort of thing. But, I've been too busy up until now to be very "interior" about my self-evaluation. Kids, home, career, and church have all claimed more than their share of attention.
Now it's time to focus in on the core things. These other parts of my life are valuable, but they are not me, I've decided. And life is WAY too short to evaluate one's life based on what "might have been" or on what others have done or left undone.
What is me, though? A tough question to answer, but one only God and I can wrestle with.
Rerum, Deus, tenax vigor
Mid-Afternoon Office Hymn composed by St Ambrose of Milan
O God, you hold all things in space,
Each star and planet in its place,
The days and years are your design,
Each change of season you define.
As we life's eventide draw near,
us your light, remove our fear,
With happy death may we be blessed,
And find in you eternal rest.