Love is a righteous turning

What turns your spirit toward love and toward God?

Here are some sage words from Richard Rolle, (+1349), hermit, mystic, writer of devotional works and translator of the Bible.

Love is a righteous turning
from earthly things,
and is joined to God, without departing,
and kindled with the fire of the Holy spirit:
far from defiling,
far from corruption,
bound to no vice of this life.
High above all fleshly lusts,
aye ready and greedy
for the contemplation of God.

In all things not overcome.
The sum of all good affections.
Health of good manners;
goal of the commandments of God;
death of sins; life of virtues.
Virtue whilst fighting lasts,
crown of overcomers.
Mirth to holy thoughts.
Without that, no man may please God;
with that, no man sins.

For if we love God with all our heart,
there is nothing in us through which we serve sin.
Very love cleanses the soul,
and delivers it from the pain of hell,
and from the foul service of sin,
and from the ugly fellowship of the devils;
and out of the fiend's son, makes God's son,
and partner of the heritage of heaven.

We shall force ourselves to clothe us in love,
as iron or coal does in the fire,
as the sir does in the sun,
as the wool does in the dye.
The coal so clothes itself in fire that it is fire.
The air so clothes itself in the sun that it is light.

And the wool so subnstantially takes the dye that it is like it.
In this manner shall a true lover of Jesus Christ do:
his heart shall so burn in love,
that it shall be turned into the fire of love,
and be as it were all fire;
and he shall so shine in virtues
that no part of him shall be murky in vices.

Fasting From Regret

The last few days have become days of re-evaluation for me. It started with the cleaning out of a few boxes in the garage a couple of weeks ago. Now, unbidden, this self evaluation extended itself into times of quiet sitting and listening, especially during and after last week's snow storm. Truly a time of grace.

I've been thinking about where I've been, where I've come from and analysing where I need to go from here. I suppose many people in mid-mid-life do this sort of thing. But, I've been too busy up until now to be very "interior" about my self-evaluation. Kids, home, career, and church have all claimed more than their share of attention.

Now it's time to focus in on the core things. These other parts of my life are valuable, but they are not me, I've decided. And life is WAY too short to evaluate one's life based on what "might have been" or on what others have done or left undone.

What is me, though? A tough question to answer, but one only God and I can wrestle with.

Rerum, Deus, tenax vigor

Mid-Afternoon Office Hymn composed by St Ambrose of Milan



O God, you hold all things in space,
Each star and planet in its place,
The days and years are your design,
Each change of season you define.


As we life's eventide draw near,
us your light, remove our fear,
With happy death may we be blessed,
And find in you eternal rest.

Snow din, Snowed In and some Lenten "Blues"

Here in the Upper Midwest we have a phenomenon which happens each time a major winter storm approaches. A barrage of media warns us of the impending apocalypse. Radio, TV, the Internet all unite in a common chorus: warning! major storm coming! batten down the hatches! fire up the snow blower! the leaden grey skies are falling!

I call this barrage the "snow din" because it becomes like background noise after the second or third time. Perhaps you respond ot it, especially if you have a long work commute ahead or the kids will be staying home. But, even then, you realize that there is a certain echo chamber effect because the media just has to get your attention. Yawn.... so it's going to snow again. so what?

Our thought life works like that too, sometimes. When I just manage to get myself quiet enough to do some meditating a stray thought comes along to distract me. If I acknowledge it and dismiss it sometimes it just goes away. But more often it brings back two or three friends in a chorus to try and gain my attention.

"But what about X......?"

"Shouldn't I be concerned about Y....?"

"I'll bet Z.........."

Like a rising chorus the stray thoughts gang up until they gain an hearing. But if I'm attentive to their game plan and can realize that this is just the way things work, I can safely dismiss, ignore and get back to my practice.

Much like the media, we get wise to the game and refuse to be suckered in and distracted by it.

These past 3 days of the snowstorm I've had lots of time to think about these things, especially in light of my work around guarding the thoughts, courtesy of Meg Funk. See my earlier post on "Thoughts Do Matter."

But last evening at dusk, at the end of my Evening Prayer, I received a grace moment. It was not strictly related to the guarding of thoughts, but it brought about a similar peaceful quiet in the soul.

I was sitting in my living room/ chapel praying and I looked out the window at precisely the correct time to see a still, blue world. Nothing was moving, nothing stood out. All was overcast in the deep blue haze one can only get when surrounded by massive amounts of snow and a paucity of natural light. You can see little glimmers of this by looking in the shadows of snow banks during the afternoon. But this was a whole scene..... amazing..... it took my breath away. Instead of the evening being a depressing time as sometimes happens, this was a "blues" moment to be cherished.

Thoughts Do Matter

Thoughts do matter. Last summer a good friend and spiritual advisor, Father Cyril Gorman (now aka Father Tony) suggested that I read a book by Sr. Mary Margaret Funk, OSB. The book is entitled Thoughts Matter and it covers the eight areas of thought life discussed by John Cassian in his Conferences. These are food, sex, things, anger, dejection, acedia, vainglory, and pride.

Now it's been a year and I am returning to the book once again during Lent in order to walk with some brothers who are using this book for their own Lenten table reading. Sometimes it's great to return to familiar books, because it gives one a better idea of how far you have, or in some cases, haven't come.

In this case, a lot has transpired since I devoured that book basically in one weekend while at St John's Abbey last year. Coming back to it I can see now how important thoughts are. I also perceive how much of the progress I've made this past year in discernment and holy living has come from being aware of and directing my thought processes consciously toward God.

By no means have I come very far, but the reality is that my interior landscape began to change with the recognition that my inner dialogue was a conscious part of my spiritual life. Over time I'll be blogging about the eight areas as I cover them over the next 4 weeks of Lent, leading up to my Lenten retreat just before Holy Week.

Here is one quote from the introduction to the book. I hope it will entice others to pick it up and read it:

"To renounce one's thoughts may seem out-of-date to a casual observer- harsh, foreboding, even unrelenting. Yet, the theory about this, developed 2,000 years ago, is being rediscovered and reappropirated in our time by both mystics and scholars. A mind at peace, stilled, available for conscious thinking at will is of major value for those of us who confront chaos, confusion, noise and numbness as we move into the third millenium."

How true. Most of the men I know struggle, consciously or unconsciously, with a bombardment of images and information about sex, food, power and other enticements which seems to be taken for granted by our society. This caustic environment can't be escaped, at least not totally. So, resources to deal with it must come from within. John Cassian and his modern interpreter, Meg Funk, have given us those resources.

As some have said more eloquently than I, the place of struggle, the modern desert, for spiritual seekers, is not a place apart, it's right here, within our own culture. In this place we wrestle our demons to the ground and dash them against Christ, the Rock.

Lent: A Symphony in Two Movements

He is no perfect preacher, who either, from devotion to contemplation, neglects works that ought to be done, or, from urgency in business, puts aside the duties of contemplation.

Gregory the Great,
Moralia Book VI, 56.

As I approach this Ash Wednesday I ask myself, how will I observe this Lent? Part of me wants to add something to my daily regimen, ... some devotion, practice of mercy, or activity. My Archbishop Harry Flynn recently recommended this in his column in the local diocesan newspaper, The Catholic Spirit. Very good advice.

But there is another part of me, the contemplative part, which struggles in another direction, toward simplification, ....quiet, .... stillness. That part of me cringes at adding yet another activity to the day. In fact, the overall tendenz of my life recently indicates that taking an activity away would probably be more in order. This is not "giving up something for Lent," although that could be a part of it. The core issue is creating a space in life for God to be active and present to and through me.


The interim solution (a Type A one!) is to recognize that a true Lent involves both an addition and a subtraction, ....a descent into the earthiness of existence and also an ascent to heavenly contemplation. And this action parallels the great kenotic, down and up and dizzying "swoop" of Christology, hymned so well in Philippians 2:5-11 (NAB):


Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus,
Who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave,
coming in human likeness;
and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him and bestowed on him the name
that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend,
of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.


As so often happens in Catholic faith, the true way is not "either/or," it's "both/and." It's about quiet and activity, humble service and lofty contemplation, descending and being raised with our Lord.

I also like what St Leo the Great wrote about Lent ( Sermo 6,1-2):


"During these days which remind us more vividly of the mystery of humanity's salvation and of the paschal celebration soon to come, we are bidden to purify ourselves more carefully by way of preparation.


In the paschal celebration the whole Church experiences the forgiveness of sins. For, though baptism is the chief instrument in humanity's renewal, there is also a daily renewal from the corruption inherent in mortality, and everyone, however advanced, is called to be a better person.


All of us must strive for ever greater purity against the day of our salvation. To this end we follow with care and devotion the apostolic custom of a forty-day fast in which we abstain not simply from bodily food but primarily from all evildoing.

For such a holy fast there can be no better companion than almsgiving. But we must note that "almsgiving" or "mercy" here includes the many pious actions which make possible a familial equality among the faithful, whatever be the disparities between them in worldly wealth. For in the love of God and humanity one is always free to will the good."

A Quiet Time, with Tools

What a marvelous day.... I went to Mass this morning at Visitation Convent, had coffee with a priest friend, then came home and read, prayed quietly and put up the last three of nine outdoor lights on our house (a bone chilling 10 degrees out.... but warmer than it has been or shall be soon here in MN) I also had the chance to sit by the fire and read and just think.... a luxury indulged in all too infrequently.

I am striving to finish up Meg Funk's book Tools Matter... for Practicing the Spiritual Life. The entire book has deepened my hunger for alone time with God. She has a fine sense about her writing, not really a "how to" manual, but very practical, and steeped in Benedictine/ Monastic/ Spiritual Practice Wisdom.

Here is a little slice which I hope will encourage you to pick it up and read more.....

"How can we tend the garden of our souls? Are there any tools? How do
these tools work? This book is a brief presentation of tools foundin the
Christian tradition and how they worked for the early monks and nuns.
These monastics were people like you and me, They felt the same
impulse we do-- they needed help.

To find that help they went to visit the early hermits, quiet dwellers in the
desert, and asked them, " and asked them "How do you do it?" "How do I do it?"

These wise persons taught them to guard their hearts, to watch
their thoughts, to spend time in vigils, to fast, to confess, to practice
ceaseless prayer, to practice prayer of the heart, and to do manual labor,

to name a few of the recommended practices."

Loneliness, Longing and Love

Well, its been a semi rough patch here in the old house. We have just about survived a tumultuous renonvation (three months) and my sons are down to only one weekend visit per month... from their previous usual two or more. I can still recall the days of being a more or less full time dad, 3 weeknights and every other weekend. Seems like yesterday.

At the same time I am feeling that creeping loneliness of being somewhat single as well as single minded. I have my work, which I love and my church activities which give me a lot of deep joy and my formation as a worldly monastic, or an oblate, or a third order, whatever you choose to call it.

But deep inside there is a growing longing to be alone with God, even as that same longing produces a very tangible loneliness. Yes, I know that God is my All and that I can and do turn to Him many times every day.

But lately I've begun to suspect that there is some unsuspected, hidden connection between my interior life and the capacity to love another or many others as Christ loves us.

Now my spiritual director has me reading some of Hans Urs von Balthasar, and this Catholic systematician seems to have a communitarian and mystical streak in him a mile wide and just as deep. I discovered that he helped a German woman found a secular institute, a group for people who want to live the consecrated life of poverty, chastity and obedience, while also staying "in the world."

I've often doubted whether that could truly be done, but I am interested enough to find out just what happened to this group. But first, I've told myself, I'll read an introduction to Balthasar and his book on the Christian State of Life. Only then can I truly appreciate the historical circumstances that led Balthasar et al to form this community. Then, perhaps I might also find some help for my own journey, as solo as that has been thus far.

I Loved Him Deeply

" I will now show you more fully how, from the beginning, when I first learned and came to an understanding of the existence of God, I was always concerned about my salvation and religious observance. When I learned more completely that God himself was my Creator and the judge of all my actions, I came to love Him deeply, and I was constantly alert and watchful so as not to offend Him in word or deed.

When I learned that He had given His law and commandments to His people and worked so many miracles through them, I made a firm resolution in my soul to love nothing but Him, and the things of the world became altogether repugnant to me. Then, having learned that God himself would redeem the world and be born of a Virgin, I was so smitten with love for Him that I thought of nothing but God and wanted nothing but Him.

As far as I was able, I withdrew from the conversation and the presence of parents and friends and gave away to the needy everything I had come to own. I kept for myself nothing but meager food and clothing. "

From the Blessed Virgin according to Saint Bridget of Sweden (born about 1303; died July 23, 1373) Saint Bride and Her Book: Birgitta of Sweden's Revelations, Book 1, ch.10

Studying in the Quiet- Part II

Some time ago I wrote about the need for quiet- to say less, to meditate more. http://catholicgeek.blogspot.com/2006/10/studying-in-quiet.html

One friend said he would look forward to seeing what happened. Perhaps he said it tongue in cheek, knowing my gregarious nature would not allow me to remain quiet.... at least not long enough to have any lasting effect.

Here is the progress report.

I have found some very quiet spaces in my life that I never knew existed before.

Last summer a trusted confessor, Father Cyril Gorman of St John's Abbey, gave me the penance of staying after Mass and sitting quietly and pondering. It took a few months but now the practice has set in of staying for just a few moments after Mass is over. Sometimes I relish Christ's continued presence, pray for my day, or just pray over and over that favorite prayer of John Paul II, "Totus tuus".... totally yours. Sometimes I just sit in no particular action at all, just sit. However this started, I've found it makes Mass more meaningful. It "sticks to my ribs" longer as I continue to ponder the readings and the prayers and the people I encounter while I return to my car for the trip to work or home.

A second result of being open to the quiet has been an increasing desire to do less and to stay home more. I am less involved in my parish and other outside activities now, a deliberate choice, and I am finding that less is more. When I do things now I relish it more deeply, as if I am more present than before to what is going on around me. I have to admit that part of this change is probably atmospheric... after all it is Fall-approaching Winter here in Minnesota, a time when people tend to settle in for the long winter's nap. But it's something deeper than that. I can't quite explain it yet. But I am happy that it is happening... an increase in contentment and gratitude for where God has placed me.

The last is the most difficult. I am trying to learn to speak only when spoken to. I am naturally outgoing, gregarious, some would even say aggressive. So this is very hard for me. But listening is a valuable skill that often gets overrun by the need to plan one's one response to what others are saying and doing. God help me to speak less and listen more, to others and above all to Him.

Practical Words from a Master Mystic

Sometimes it's hard to find the right balance between being with others whom we love while also craving the solitude which we know helps us come closer to God. It's a real balancing act.

Especially for this tail end of the Church year, here is some advice from Meister Eckhart (around 1260-1327), Dominican theologian, from his Spiritual Conversations.



“We must pray always and not lose heart”

Someone asked me the following: Many people would like to withdraw completely from the world and to live in solitude so as to find peace there, or to remain in church. Could it be that this is the best one can do? I say: No!

And this is why. The person with an upright attitude is at ease everywhere and with everybody; but the person who is lacking in integrity is uncomfortable everywhere and with everybody. The person who possesses God alone has in mind only God, and all things become God alone for him.

Such a person carries God in all he does and in every place, and that person’s every activity takes on a divine character…Certainly, for this, zeal and love are necessary as well as attentive watchfulness over one’s conscience, vigilant, true and effective intelligence, which directs our entire spiritual attitude where things and people are concerned.

One cannot acquire that intelligence through an evasive attitude by fleeing from things in order to find refuge in solitude, far away from the external world. On the contrary, one has to learn an interior solitude wherever and with whomever one might be.

One has to learn to penetrate to the bottom of things so as to take hold of God there… That is how we must be filled with the presence of God, remodeled after the form of the God of love, and we must be entirely one with him, so that God’s presence might illuminate us without our least effort.

A Blossom from the Little Flower

Therese of Lisieux never used to be one of my favorite saints. Back when I was going through my divorce in 1996 someone suggested that I read her autobiography and I tried. Honestly, I tried. But I kept thinking as I read it "what could a 19th century French girl teach me?" Back then her observations seemed far too maudlin, almost sacharrine.

I don't know precisely what changed. Perhaps I grew up a bit. Maybe I got more used to Gallic Catholic piety. But now her words and even more her humble attitude function like a beacon to the soul, guiding me home to a safe harbor.

Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus (1873-1897), Carmelite, Doctor of the Church from Autobiographical Manuscript A, 84 r°


“The reign of God is in your midst”

It is above all the Gospel which supports me during my prayer. There I find all that my poor little soul needs. There, I always discover new lights, hidden and mysterious meaning. I understand and know from experience “that the reign of God is in our midst”.

Jesus doesn’t need books or scholars to teach souls, he who is the Scholar of scholars teaches without the noise of words. I have never heard him speak, but I feel that he is in me.

He guides me at every moment, he inspires me with what I have to say or do. Just when I need it, I discover lights that I had not seen yet. Most often, this does not happen above all during my prayer, but rather in the midst of my day’s occupations.

Studying in the Quiet

Spend Time in Silence, Pope Tells Students,
Opens Academic Year of Pontifical Universities

VATICAN CITY, OCT. 24, 2006 (Zenit.org).- Benedict XVI counseled students of the pontifical universities in Rome to spend time in silence and contemplation, so as not to fall prey to the "inflation" of words.

The Holy Father said this on Monday afternoon to the university students who had gathered for the annual Mass celebrated in St. Peter's Basilica to open the academic year. Benedict XVI told the students: "In-depth reflection on Christian truths and the study of theology or other religious disciplines presuppose an education in silence and contemplation, as it is necessary to be able to listen with the heart to God who speaks.

"Only if they proceed from the silence of contemplation can our words have a certain value and usefulness and not fall into the inflation of the world's speeches which seek the consensus of public opinion."Therefore, whoever studies in an ecclesiastical institution must be disposed to obedience and truth, and cultivate a certain asceticism of thought and word.

"The Pontiff added: "This asceticism is based on loving familiarity with the word of God."

"Pray: 'Lord, teach us to pray and also to think, to write and to speak,' as these faculties are intimately connected among themselves," the Pope said.

Benedict XVI told the students that "apostolate will be fruitful if you nourish your personal relationship with him, tending toward holiness and having as sole objective of your existence the realization of the kingdom of God."

Pondering these words, a good rule of thumb might be the following: spend one half hour of study/reflection/prayer for every minute of public speaking/ teaching/ preaching/blogging. For each minute we speak with a fellow human, then we can also devote a minute to personal prayer for them. This should make study more important and "vain conversation" less frequent.