Solitude, Silence, Stillness

When I first arrived at the Cistercian Abbey of Our Lady of Sping Bank in June 2005, I was struck by the relative isolation of the place. Snuggled between two low ridges, the rectangular enclosure appears right at home in the midst of cornfields and pastures.

I remember getting up in the middle of the first night there and standing on tip toe to peer out the window at the woods, barely visible in a quarter moonlight in the wee hours of the morning. Alone-ness, but yet not lonely.

This physical solitude by itself was healing. However, I soon came to realize that there was a deeper dimension calling out from within this solitude. Part of this silence was due to the relative lack of human contact. With only five monks and no retreat house or guest quarters, one could almost go all day without encountering another human being, except for the eight daily occasions of communal prayer. At these gathering times one's focus is rightfully not on the others who gather with you, but on the One who gathers us. Even at the common table divine reading and music replace the usual buzz of table talk which surrounds this most common of human interactions.

In the midst of the solitude I sensed a certain interior silence, supported through but not engendered by the peaceful surroundings. This silence remains a gift, which, like a single coal from a dying fire, I strive to carry with me between my infrequent visits. This interior sense of peace returns at times, especially when I am in the practice of private prayer.

However, during this last visit I also learned of a third level or aspect of inner quiet.

This is interior stillness.

All is quiet outside. One's inner voices are also stilled by means of attention to the thoughts and cultivation of something resembling a library room quiet- atmospheric but also internal. Within this temple not made with hands, or thoughts or speech I found and find a certain divine Presence. Although the Divine Presence has always been there, I have frequently not been present to Him.

This Presence is best cultivated in solitude and silence. However, these are simply doors through which one enters into stillness. Solitude and silence are the precursors to an inner stillness which became the real subject, object, and result of this retreat.

More about that stillness next time.

"Show Us the Father!" said Phillip the Lesser

Thank you to those who have e mailed me on my Feast Day today, which I share with St James. I am just getting through this afternoon with my retreat at the Cistercian Abbey near Sparta, WI. I need a day or so to process some of the very complex facets of our retreat with Sister Meg Funk. Then I will share some of the insights which came from our time with this beautiful woman of God. However, I WILL say, though, that my own meditations have centered around continued search for the Father, expressed so well in that plantive cry of the apostle Philip in John Chapter 14: Show us the Father!

Of course, Jesus responds lovingly that the Father is already present to the Apostles in Christ himself. Philip's eyes only need to be opened to that Light and Presence. So do mine.

One bit of news I will share, however, is my plan to be received as an Oblate of the Cistercian Abbey at First Vespers of the Feast of St Benedict in July. I have been an oblate of St John's Abbey in Collegeville, MN for the past eight years. So, this is really more of a transfer than a true first time oblation. However, I feel very peaceful about the move and will blog more about the details between now and July. Suffice it to say for now that the focussed Cistercian atmosphere at Sparta and the smaller community are what I need at this point in my life.